"All great changes are preceded by chaos." - Deepak Chopra
"Opportunities to find deeper power within ourselves come when life seems most challenging." – Joseph Campbell
"We were made to cooperate and connect, not to compete." – Lynne McTaggart
"To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment."
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
“Bloom where you are planted.” - Mary Engelbreit
OMG! Have you heard the news about Brangelina? Of course you have because you can’t fucking escape it. Trust me, I’ve tried.
Yesterday, an article showed up on my newsfeed titled, 'The Brangelina Divorce - Everything You Need to Know'. I refused to share it or even read it, because people, here's what I (and all of you) REALLY NEED to know about Brad and Angie’s breakup... S.F.A.! In case that’s not an acronym you're familiar with it stands for, Sweet. Fuck. All! THAT folks, is what we all REALLY NEED to know about the whole ordeal. Exactly NOTHING. Rien. Nada. Neinte.
We NEED things like water, food, a roof over our heads and social connection. We NEED to know if we are in clear and present danger. But the details of the Brangelina divorce, are on exactly nobody’s list of ‘things I need to survive’. Clearly, the author of the article in question, was never taught the difference between an actual need, and a weird fucking desire to be a voyeur into other people’s personal lives. There seem to be a lot of folks in the mainstream media who missed that class.
Yep, it’s September! Back to school and all the rest of it. Except for this time, it feels a little (or a lot) different around here.
Back in June, I wrote about how we planned on having a boring summer, free of major commitments or big plans. One where aside from regular work duties, we did a whole lot of whatever we felt like, whenever we felt like it. One where our kids would have to find ways to occupy themselves without constantly being shuttled to day camps or other activities.
When we decided to do this, it was mostly because we were spent. We needed a break from several years worth of juggling too many commitments and having too much on our plates. We just couldn’t fathom another summer that felt like an extension of the busy-ness of the rest of the year. And although we’d already taken some steps to say no to a lot of things that wanted our time and attention, it just wasn’t enough. Once you get a taste of that kind of liberation, you want more. Also, with me working at home, it didn’t seem to make a whole lot of sense to us (financially or otherwise) to send our kids off to camps all summer.
It turns out that we got a lot more than we bargained for. Sure we got more down time than we’ve ever had. Which was the point. But what we weren’t expecting is that the last few months have been kind of like hitting the re-set button for our family in so many ways. We never anticipated it, but we’re all feeling pretty damn good about it right now.
Here's what happened...
I got the call just after 3:30 a few Tuesdays ago. I’m not sure if it’s because on some level I was expecting the other shoe to drop, or because around here, we are no strangers to upheaval and surprises of the, ‘not always warm fuzzy’ variety, but my reaction was underwhelming. Bordering on nonchalant even.
“I just got let go,” he said.
Pause while the thought, “So this is how it’s gonna be eh universe?” runs through my head.
“Wow. I’m really sorry. Are you o.k.?”
His reaction, equally as underwhelming, “Yeah, I’m fine actually. Maybe a little surprised, but really o.k. I’ll stop at the grocery store on the way home and I’ll fill you in more when I get there.”
When we hung up, deep breath, long exhale, and out loud this time, “Well then, here we go again I guess.”
Another life change. Another new beginning.
Today I am teetering on the edge of an all out adult temper tantrum. I can feel it bubbling up every time someone asks me a question, needs help, or bolts into the room spewing a random thought. Like, do you really have to say ALL the things that are in your head out loud?
Every time I hear a knock at the door, the phone ring, or my notifications go off, I am one step closer to losing it. If one more person needs a piece of me today, if one more distraction or interruption happens, I fear, it won’t be pretty.
So many deep breaths. So, so many. I keep reminding myself that I love working from home. Which I do. I love it so hard I could marry it. Except I’m already happily married, and except on those occasions when I have been trying for days to get something accomplished and I just can’t seem to scrape together 10 measly fucking minutes of uninterrupted time. Like today. Or yesterday for that matter.
Tomorrow is our Anniversary. We’ve been married for 21 years. As you may know if you’ve been around here for awhile, we got engaged after dating for exactly 29 days. We married the year after and the rest, as they say, is history.
21 years, two kids and a WHOLE lot of crazy shit later, our relationship is still thriving. In fact, it’s more solid and sacred than ever. We’re in it for the long haul and although every day isn’t perfect, we seem to have this whole marriage/committed relationship thing figured out.
There’s a whole lot of relationship advice out there already, and I don’t claim to be an expert (like not even a little), but I can share what’s worked for us and maybe it’ll work for you too.
(Editor’s note: Although I wrote this post, Sean read and approved every word. Cause like I said, we kind of have this whole thing figured out pretty well.)
I’ve been reading a lot of stuff lately that talks about the importance of finding your niche in business. In fact, in my line of work, that’s like rule #1. The experts all tell you, if you want to establish an online presence, attract readers to your blog, students to your courses, clients to your practice, or just generally be successful at what you do, you have to have a niche (“a specialized segment of the market, for a particular product or service”). Sounds serious right? Experts are always so serious.
These experts also want to give you a ton of advice as to how you should go about finding your niche. You know, ‘best practices’ and all. It makes me want to either nod off or run screaming when I hear people start blathering on about stuff like, ‘your ideal client profile or better yet, ‘avatar’, social media target strategy, call to action, Google/Facebook/Instagram analytics, conversion rates, search engine optimization, blah, blah, blah.... Hell, it took me forever to even realize that my blog would loosely be categorized as a 'lifestyle blog'. Who knew?
Seriously people! Who talks like that in real life? Not me, and you know why? Because I’m a normal fucking human being (well, relatively speaking), and normal humans don’t talk like that! At least not the ones I know. Sheesh!