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Feeling All The Feelings - The Day After The U.S. Election

stoneheart

Today, like many of you, I’m feeling all the feelings.  Usually, words come easy to me, at least the ones I write down, but today the feelings are coming fast and furious and leaving little room for the words.  Today, the day after the U.S. election, the day after the majority (well, not REALLY the majority) of our closest neighbours chose to elect Donald Trump to lead their country, I can’t stop feeling all the feelings.  I know eventually, this too shall pass because it always does, and so today, all I can do, is feel all the feelings.

I feel dumbstruck.  Shocked to the point of struggling for words, but I'll try anyway, even if they come out sloppily.  Even if they're misunderstood.

I feel bewildered.  My mind is in a confused, disoriented fog.  How can this be happening?  Did this really happen?  Are we in the Twilight zone, or as one friend put it, ‘are we being punk’d?’

I feel uncertain.  What do I tell my children?  How do I react to the backlash?  What do I say or not say to the people I encounter in person or online who see things differently than I do? 

I feel afraid of what this decision might mean for all of us.  And by ‘us’ I don’t mean in a vs. ‘them’ kind of way.  I mean it in an ‘us humans, us global citizens’ kind of way - regardless of our nationality, political affiliation, gender identification, religious denomination, spiritual belief system, or any of the other false constructs used to divide ‘us and them’. 

I feel angry.  Even outraged.  How could people be this ignorant?  This blind?  This terrified and unconscious?  How did so many people choose fear? How did it come to this?

I feel understanding.  For those people, their frustrations and their fears.  I understand the sense of ‘I’ve had enough and something’s gotta give.’  God knows, I’ve been there, done that, but never with such far reaching consequences.

I also feel compassion.  Compassion for the desperation that led to such a choice, compassion for those who may now be regretting their choice, or lack thereof, compassion for all who must live with the consequences of their own, or other people’s actions.  I feel compassion for the whole damn world, who are now sitting on the edge of our seats, wondering what will happen next.

I feel sad that our world appears so broken and that healing seems like a near impossible task in this moment. I feel sad for Bernie too.  Bernie was my favourite.  I made no attempt to hide that.  Bernie 'got it'.  He saw and understood too.  I feel sad that we may never know what could have been, if Bernie had been given the chance to lead.

I feel vindicated, but ashamed of it.  On some level, I knew this outcome was a very real possibility.  I spoke those words to my husband several times.  I understood that people wanted change, and would go to any lengths to get it.  From way up here in Canada, I sensed that there were far more people who intended to flip the ‘establishment’ the bird, than the polls or pundits indicated.  I felt that Hilary was not as popular with women as we wanted to believe.  And now, I feel a gross, nauseating sense of, I told you so… and I hate feeling that.

I feel helpless.  What the hell could I have done about it?  Who the hell am I to think I could do anything about it?  What CAN I do about it?  I feel like I should be doing something about it, but I don’t’ know what that is!

I feel hope.  Hope that the majority of Americans (the actual majority) will take this as an opportunity to regroup, to realize that maybe the rift in their country is bigger than they thought, and maybe they need to start really listening to what their fellow citizens are trying to tell them.  I hope that more of them start talking about what matters and how to fix it.  I hope that enough of them can look past the hate, anger, rhetoric and defensiveness, to see that we all just want to be loved, accepted, and to feel like we matter.  No exceptions.  I hope that compassion, humanness, and mutual respect will eventually prevail.

Feeling ALL the feelings over here.
xo Lara

“In all things, it is better to hope than to despair.” ~Johann Wolfgang van Goethe

 

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0 #4 Lara 2016-11-10 12:28
Quoting Sandi:
That pretty much sums up how I felt today. Watching my eight year old cry when she heard the news was probably the hardest part. Sometimes the bad guys win. I had to fight the overwhelming urge I had to "check out" and not pay attention to politics anymore b[censored]use it was all too much. Instead, I will continue to be kind to others and fight for social justice - for the sake of my sanity and for the sake of my daughter.

I feel you Sandi! It's o.k. to check out on o[censored]sion . We sometimes have to in order to protect our sanity, my concern is that now that the election is over, people are going to check out and[censored]rr y on, business as usual. This is something that we all need to be vigilant about if we are to prevent the situation from spiraling out of control in the U.S. and globally. On the positive side, the majority of young voters didn't succumb to the dark side. This definitely bodes well for the future!
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0 #3 Lara 2016-11-10 12:19
Quoting Vibeke Johannessen:
Thank you for this post! I am not an Amer[censored]n, but a Norwegian and i have been engaged in the election. I cried all yesterday after Trump won. He is a danger for Norway and he stands for everything I am against. I hope he wont do all the bad things he said he will do. I think it is important to share this feelings and fight for what you stand for.

Glad this resonated with you. I think there are many people who are feeling the same way. I hold on to the hope that as Deepak Chopra says, 'All Great Changes are Preceded by Chaos'. If this election has done anything positive, it would be to shine a light on the truth, the fear, the hatred that was always there. Things have to rise to the surface in order to be truly dealt with.
Thank you for your[censored]m ent. Sending hugs to you from[censored]n ada!
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+1 #2 Vibeke Johannessen 2016-11-10 11:37
Thank you for this post! I am not an Amer[censored]n , but a Norwegian and i have been engaged in the election. I cried all yesterday after Trump won. He is a danger for Norway and he stands for everything I am against. I hope he wont do all the bad things he said he will do. I think it is important to share this feelings and fight for what you stand for.
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+1 #1 Sandi 2016-11-09 19:34
That pretty much sums up how I felt today. Watching my eight year old cry when she heard the news was probably the hardest part. Sometimes the bad guys win. I had to fight the overwhelming urge I had to "check out" and not pay attention to politics anymore b[censored]use it was all too much. Instead, I will continue to be kind to others and fight for social justice - for the sake of my sanity and for the sake of my daughter.
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